My baby is not mine anymore

6 Apr
On my due date

On my due date

Someone said to me when I was pregnant with Evie that the most special thing about being pregnant is that the baby is all yours. Once you have the baby, the baby is everyone elses. I know what she means. As much as others can put their hands on your bump to feel that kick or wriggle, there is only you as the mother that can feel every tiny movement and have that special feeling of love.

I feel that I have been able to extend that feeling of keeping the baby for me by breastfeeding. This is not the reason that I did exclusively breastfeed; I did it because it is best for the baby, it is easier than messing about with sterilising and it is cheap! But as a by product, the baby is still mine.

I think that this probably sounds like I’m selfish or needy, but that’s not it. It’s more because I’ll never be pregnant again and I loved being pregnant and I just want to extend that feeling for as long as possible.

Big sister love

Big sister love

The first time I breastfed, I expressed milk and others like Daddy or Grandma gave it to my daughter in a bottle. I went back to work when she was 6 months old and carried on only giving her breastmilk exclusively for 2 more months so the only way to do this was to give her my milk in a bottle.

This time I have not had the time, inclination or will to be sterilising breastpumps and bottles and my son has only been breastfed from my breast!!!

Also, when I had Evie I wanted to occasionally go out, even if it was only to guides (where I am a leader) for a couple of hours. This time I have had no feeling of being trapped or desperate to go out without the kids. I’m loving spending the time with them as I know I’ll be back at work before I know it and my first baby will be starting full-time school.

On Tuesday he will be six months old. Weaning will begin! I know that he will need to be having milk from a bottle so I need to get to grips with this. I think that I need to get used to this idea in my mind more than anything. I can, afterall, find time to crochet, sew and go out with the kids, so I’m sure if I just put a bit of effort in I could find the time to sterilise a bottle or two.

The issue is that this last six months has flown by and I want to savour all the time I have with my beautiful children whilst they are still little.

Brother and sister

Brother and sister

Cheeky chappy, cheeky girl

Cheeky chappy, cheeky girl


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